It has been an extremely busy week in our household this week. It is not that anything bad has happened beyond your basic little every day battles, finances, sickness, car troubles, being forced into work on all of our off days. So all in all looking forward to a new week. That being said this quote stood out to us this week.
If you are honest with people you will not have a perfect marriage, there is no such thing. There are going to be days where you are tired, stressed or just fed up. Your marriage will not be great because you are always getting along or always in a great mood, that just means one of you is being extremely fake.
There will be disagreements in your marriage, times when feelings may get hurt or you just don't see eye to eye are inevitable. In the midst of those disagreements is sometimes when your marriage can shine the most. If you make the decision to talk things out instead of lashing out at one another, not only will you most likely solve the problem and come to an agreement, but you will feel closer because of the open communication.
We believe one of the most valuable tips we can give you for a great marriage is the act of true forgiveness. It is an extremely powerful tool that with a sincere heart can overcome the biggest and smallest of disagreements, heartache and wrong doings.
To put it bluntly for you we all mess up from time to time. We are human we make mistakes, I'm sure you have heard it many times in your life, that failures lead you to your successes. So why not when you or your spouse mess up take a step back, examine it and see what you can learn from it? Sometimes you might be amazed at how much you can learn about yourself, from their mistakes as well as your own. I'm not saying we are to never confront the spouse, actually I am saying just the opposite but it is to be done in love. How can I help you improve this? How can we work this out together? What can we do to make sure we do not face this same problem again in the future?
Whether your problems be with each other today or the outside world tomorrow, you are walking through this life together. Two people working together, towards a common goal will accomplish so much more than two who are fighting against each other.
To close, just a few tips for when disagreements happen with each other that we try to put to practice in our household.
1. Honesty. If something is bothering one of us, we spill it immediately, no letting it sit and fester until it builds to something untrue. Let's be honest, if your feelings were hurt because of something your spouse says, and then they forget to take out the trash, you almost always blow up over the trash instead of admitting what you were really upset about.
2. Pick a good time. So your spouse is heading out the door to work, or your kids are screaming and fighting, not the best time to stop them and say hey by the way I need to tell you.... They need to have a chance to speak as well, and it definitely should not be in a high stress moment where emotions are vulnerable and most likely will blow up. Find a time where you both can sit FACE TO FACE and just say " Hey I need to get this off my chest, my feelings were hurt when...."
3. Be willing to negotiate the situation. No one needs to "win". Winning is not the prize here. You are on the same team. Figure out a game plan together to keep it from happening again and you both win.
4. Be willing to forgive and say you are sorry. Yep although it's listed as number 4 this is a big one. If you said something to hurt your spouse it is important for you to apologize and be sincere, even if you think you were "right". And as the one who was hurt, well you have to forgive and let it go. We can't say that your emotions will make this easy sometimes, but the reward is great (and making up can be too).
5. End in prayer. This is our favorite part, for the past several months whenever we have a disagreement we end in prayer. It's amazing how much praying over each other when you are annoyed with the other can calm you down and help you remember the good in your spouse. Something about going to God about the situation at hand and your spouse makes you say much nicer things then when you are just talking to each other so it helps end the argument on a much better note.
Instead of walking away leaving your team mate wounded, scoop them up and walk forward victoriously together.
No comments:
Post a Comment