Marriage

Marriage:  In my opinion, the single hardest thing you will ever do in your lifetime.  Don’t take that opening statement the wrong way, I love being married.  The hard part is the expectation of what’s to come.  Fellas, just let me start with you: You have no idea the journey that you are about to be part of.  Guys have a lot of responsibility when it comes to marriage.  So you think that your just gonna work your forty to fifty hour a work week, bring home the bread (money), maybe do the dishes or cut the grass and she is just going to fall at your feet like you are “King of the World”  Let me let you in on a little secret, she will appreciate that unless she is just a total Diva, but that won’t cut it for long.  You might get through a few years that way, then one day you will realize that your in a rut, your spending more time in the garage than you are persuing your wife.  Why? This is the question you are asking yourself right now.  We were so close and now she’s out with the girls every weekend and your always working on the Hot Rod with a buddy.  You guys (you and your wife) have drifted apart.  Both still love each other, but there is nothing new, no excitement, no flare. 

     Ladies:  Well let’s just say, you all are not off the hook either.  You were once smitten with your husband.  When you all were dating, you anticipated that phone call each day, or that little, “I love you” text messege. You couldn’t wait to be picked up for that date, the one he brought flowers to and took you to that little place you like and you all sat in the corner holding hands, looking into each others eyes and whispering sweet nothings.  You thought, “This is the one I am going to spend the rest of my life with, I can see myself having kids with this one.”  Then you start planning for the big day. The perfect dress has to be found, colors have to match, bridesmaids have to be chosen, he has to choose his groomsmen, find the reception hall and book the caterer.  The big day comes and goes,the honeymoon is over and you are five years into your marriage trying to remember the last time he just wrapped his arms around you, whispered, I love you in your ear or even sent flowers to your desk.  All you can focus on is what he doesn’t do.  You spend your time trying to change him into the man you think he should be, and you can’t understand why he doesn’t just listen?   You are in a rut.  You don’t put on that cute little outfit anymore.  You are always wearing frumpy clothing around the house and you always just pull your hair up in a bun or ponytail, just because it’s easier to handle.  You can’t understand why you can’t talk to him without fighting.  Everything becomes a yelling match from what to eat for breakfast to sex.  You just want to know that the one you love thinks of you as more than his personal cook, maid or sex slave.

We want you to know these feelings among many others are real.  If your marriage hasn’t gone through them,  well you are still honeymooning.  You are not alone in how you feel and even better your marriage isn’t over because of it.  I know it seems cliché and we have all heard it before but for tonight I want you to read these scriptures and really think about what it means.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude.  It does not insist on it’s own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.  Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  Love never ends.  1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 

Men:  Today take the time to write your wife a love letter, fill it with 10 reasons why you love the woman she is, take the time to appreciate not only her beauty, but her heart and her talents as well.

Women:  You have two tasks first get yourself ready for your husband.  Not like a normal day of work or caring for the house,  dress yourself as if you are seeing him for the first date.  Don’t be someone your not but be the best you.  Second, ask him about his day and say something to encourage, let the trash sit for a bit and just make him feel good for a job well done.  Come on now, I am sure he did ATLEAST 1 good thing today!!!

This is just the beginning,

D and Ali