Hollywood slump vs. Healthy marriage

You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.  Song of Solomon 4:7
Women (and men) are under a lot of pressure to be "perfect" by movies, tv, internet, books etc etc. 
Its not just the physical side of it but this is what I'm touching base on today.  You can barely pass a magazine rack without seeing airbrushed pics of celebs and headlines of how to achieve their look.  
Although I do think that it is very important to take care of yourself, and I will touch base on that later. A lot of times we spend so much time focusing on our outward appearance that it turns us into objects instead of people.  

• There were over 9 million surgical and non surgical cosmetic procedures performed in the US in 2011.
• People age 35-50 had the most procedures – almost 4 million and 43% of the total. People age 19-34 had 20% of procedures; age 51-64 had 28%; age 65 and over had 8 %; and age 18 and younger had 1.4%.*   

I home school my daughter, and whenever she has art class, instead of enjoying herself she always ends up angry because it did not turn out the same as the one in the video or in the book.   Instead of appreciating the beauty of what she made she always strives to make it just like someone else's.  I am desperately trying to teach her that what makes it hers is the imperfections,  the colors she chose, the way she did it,  although it doesn't look the same does not mean it is any less beautiful than the example she was shown.  So many times we get wrapped up in someone else's size, hair, talents, clothes, sometimes even their marriage, children, friends or material things that we forget to appreciate who we are and what we have.  

 How does this relate to marriage you ask?  Well let's be honest we all know that low self esteem effects everything that we do.  Someone with low self esteem will do one of two things, they will never do anything for the lack of confidence,  or everything they do they will seek approval and fight disappointment and frustration when it doesn't come the way they thought it would.  This goes from taking care of children, housework, sex, dating, romancing, or even taking it outside of the home the ministries you feel called to.   

How do we fix our self esteem problems?  First we pray and seek God's word, knowing he has a plan for our life. Focusing on more than just our appearance and recognizing who we are in Christ.  The ultimate creator the same one who made the beautiful sunset, the stars, all of the natural artwork on this earth, He created you.  I pray that you go to God first because ultimately we are imperfect and no one will be able to help you love yourself more than the one who created you.  

Next I pray that spouses step up and encourage and uplift.  "Hollywood"  seems to have hooked people in with creating the "perfect" man and the "perfect" woman and the "perfect" relationships with the "happy endings".  The reality is life is much harder than that, and even if things seem to go in one direction people will not always say or do the "right" things.   Instead of focusing on what your spouse does or doesn't do start looking at why you fell in love with them and the things they do well.  We are all in need of hearing encouraging things about what we are doing right more than always hearing criticism of what we messed up on.  Let's face it, 99% percent of the time we are already our worst critic whether we admit our mistakes or not. 

Third I pray that every time you are battling issues with yourself take time out to encourage or compliment someone else.  Whether it's a note on fb, a text message, a phone call, or a letter.  You will be amazed how much better you will feel about yourself if you just take the time to make someone else's day better.  This includes your spouse as well of course, but they should be getting compliments from you daily anyway!!!!

Lastly, and this is the hard one, is take care of yourself.  I don't mean buy yourself new clothes, fake nails and get your hair done at the most expensive salon.  Those things are nice at times, but I'm talking about getting to the source of the problem.  Take time out of your day to exercise and choose healthier foods.  It's very easy to become lazy about our bodies when we are busy, have little kids or into a place of contentment because we know our spouses love us, but not only will you feel better, have more energy, and improve your life all around, but your sex life will improve and your esteem.  Work out together, plan a menu, or just make healthier choices all around together.  It's a huge esteem booster when you accomplish a workout or reach some fitness goals.  I'm not saying it will solve all your problems, but it will help you to start feeling better about yourself and appreciating your body for what it is.  Statistics show that most people are more successful getting healthy with a partner, who better to start this journey with than your life long partner.  


“When I lay my head on the pillow at night I can say I was a decent person today. That's when I feel beautiful.” 
― Drew Barrymore

* Statistics came from http://www.surgery.org/sites/default/files/ASAPS-2011-Stats.pdf